Cylindrical Black Onyx Bead with Silver Tube Spacer Threaded Necklace
My name is David and I'm the guy who created this site as well as the character of MrMary MF Poppins. I am a very private person, and have never used my first name on this site, but something rather serious has happened that has given me pause for reflection.
Today while working on the site I realized that in a few days this blog will turn one years old.
It’s been almost 14 years since mum… Left – would imply that she abandoned us. Went – implies that she chose to go… None of the above. It’s been almost 14 years since mum died. This is not my subject … Continue reading
I’m currently back in Northern Ireland looking after Papa Smurf, who has just had a triple bypass and isn’t allowed to drive for a while. At 73 years of age I’m dubious if he should still have his license at all, but that’s for the DVLNI to decide. Until they change their minds, I guess I’ll have to learn to limit my release of terror while I’m in the passenger seat to a single fart. (Yes, occasionally; when put in a life threatening position – it has been documented that even girls fart.)
Every day I afford myself a luxurious 30 minutes of down time, which I can spend on me. I like to run. I try to run at least 5km every day giving myself one a day a week off. Running is where I do my thinking and recently, as you might have gathered from my previous posts I’ve had a fair amount to mull over while I pound the streets each morning. I run with my iPod in. I have been a tad lazy when it comes to gathering all my running music together. I have no specific track list that I regularly listen to and so find myself occasionally skipping through tracks that are too slow for the topography of the terrain that I’m running.
I mean Nessun Dorma isn’t exactly ideal for tackling a hill sprint, is it? At this point I would like to tell you that after being a smoker for almost fifteen years I finally quit exactly 239 days 8 hours and 40 minutes ago. I’ve noticed my lung function getting progressively better every week. I’m still trying to figure out my breathing technique when I run and normally after hill sprints I slow down to a jog for a minute to recover. I digress, this morning half way round my usual route a slower song started to play while I was running along a nice flat road. I thought to myself, “What harm can it do?” and let it play on… The song that came on was Birdy – Skinny Love. (In fairness a great song in its own right and more than welcome to surface from the depths of my iPod in the correct setting…) Stupidly, I let my thoughts wander through the things that have been going on in the last few months while Birdy warbled on in my ears.
Within 90 seconds it had punctured my mood and drowned the endorphin high I was on. I felt a tightness rising in my chest and my throat start to close over as I tried to press the track advance button on my headphones while still continuing at my current pace… As I waited for the next song to start playing; my attention was caught by a high-pitched wheezing noise like someone was having an asthma attack. I looked around, I was alone… Jesus, the noise was coming from me, I was starting to have a bloody panic attack in a public park all because of Birdy bloody Skinny Love… Thankfully the next track started… Excellent, The Prodigy – Firestarter, a great track to get my breathing back under control.
So, I’m blaming Skinny Love (which has now been deleted from my iPod) for todays misadventure AND for me having to spend 3 hours this evening vetting all the music on my iPod and categorising it appropriately so this kind of incident doesn’t happen again!
Put simply… F#@k You Skinny Love! – God Bless The Prodigy!
THE CANDY SHOP IS CLOSED… There can be no mistaking what this really means. It’s a bold statement regardless of the language you translate it into, but it does sound particularly nice in French : Je suis désolé, mais le … Continue reading
Never think that you’ve had all the best parts of me,
In reality you saw only what you selected to see.
Whatever you wanted from me; you took,
Then turned your back, without a second look.
You had no desire to get to know me or see what I keep locked inside.
The red velvet just under the surface; the “me” I perpetually hide.
Why didn’t you think I’d notice?
You lead her quietly away to the stairs,
You were too drunk to realise I’d followed behind and both of you were caught unawares.
I still can’t believe you did that to me,
Right under my very nose.
It’s true what they say, “When the demon drink’s in, is when ones true personality shows.”
I told you I knew you were out of my league and this was how it would end all along,
And if given the choice that I’d do it again;
But these statements I now know are wrong.
I gave you the chance to prove yourself,
To see if you were truly worthy of me…
But found out that you’re just like the rest of the boys and actually, it’s a man that I need.
It’s GAME OVER. Well played. I concede to you sir.
No… In fact, I bloody well quit,
I’ve had enough already of your procrastinations and your egotistical bullshit.
After everything that has happened, it’s become alarmingly clear,
Who’s this person I thought that I knew?
I haven’t got the faintest idea… Not even the tiniest clue.
You were never mine, I was never yours and the time that we had; only borrowed,
It was you who caused things to end as they did;
It was you who brought all the sorrow.
That was all I was worth; so I was led to believe
Meagre scraps of affection; all I should expect to receive.
I know you can never be for me, the person that I really deserve,
Someone who irrevocably wants me, without reluctance and without reserve.
I need someone who’s not ashamed, to be with me for me,
A man who’s prepared to own his feelings, both in public and privately.
What happened that evening was no act of God; it could only have been the hand of fate,
Touching me upon the arm; Opening my eyes before it was too late.
I will never comprehend your actions or what you have claimed that you feel,
Every word falls from your lips sounding hollow, draped in logic border lining on surreal.
I alone control the things that I do,
In my future you aren’t part of the plan,
There’s no space in my life for someone like you,
And not one f*#k do I give, if this you can’t understand.
The discovery I made, whilst thinking all of this through…
Was what happened said very little about me yet all too much about you.
It didn’t hide all of your imperfections, instead it magnified every last flaw,
How could this beautiful person be so ugly inside; he makes people recoil and withdraw?
But the most important lesson I learned from all of this mess and I swear on my life this is true,
Don’t flatter yourself that I’ve lost my faith in myself.
The only faith that I’ve lost is in you.